Cinco v. Hedgehog
My day was completely uneventful, and right now I am not feeling creative enough to make something up about myself. However, I present the following post from the point of view of my family's dog, Cinco. 
Cinco Kayrell, Chihuahua
Today began like pretty much every other day. I woke up around 3ish, give or take, and realized my pint size bed just wasn't cutting it. So I did what any self respecting dog would do, I begged. You see its pretty easy with these two, Melanie and Barry. Barry's a big guy, with a soft spot for big watery eyes, and Mel, well she got me to replace her lost son Ryan. So I scratch at the sheets, and pretty soon I am sleeping between the covers.
I usually manage to get a couple more hours of sleep, but because its a holiday weekend, I make sure to get up extra early so my owners can't sleep in too long. Barry lets me out around 6:30. Let me tell you there is nothing worse than taking a shit in cold, wet grass that is longer than your legs. Oh well, I'm used to it. After taking a massive crap, massive at least for me (hey I barely weigh five pounds) I went in search of the evil Hedgehog!
In my many years on this planet I have learned that everything has an opposite. This opposite can come in many forms. There is yin and yang, Sith and Jedi, Democrats and Republicans, Trojans and Bruins, and for me, there is Hedgehog. Hedgehog is my mortal enemy. He is a master of playing dead. In fact he is so good at pretending to be dead, that he only moves when one of my owners throws him through the air. He only talks in squeaks when pressed. I am on to him, however. He may be able to fool that idiot Ryan, but I know better. I spent the better part of the morning chasing Hedgehog from one end of the living room to the other. Back and forth we went, and each time Hedgehog would find some way to be thrown again, and again, and again. It got to the point that despite my lethal bites, I grew weary of the chase. Hedgehog would be there tomorrow, and so will I!
I promise you this, I will learn the secret of Hedgehog's immortality, and how he is able to influence the pathetic humans. The world will not be safe until Hedgehog's proverbial "stuffing" lies strewn about the carpet. And when that day occurs, I will have my bowl filled with Scotch, and I will drink it, as if it is my enemy's blood!
I need a nap.
Cinco Kayrell, Chihuahua
Today began like pretty much every other day. I woke up around 3ish, give or take, and realized my pint size bed just wasn't cutting it. So I did what any self respecting dog would do, I begged. You see its pretty easy with these two, Melanie and Barry. Barry's a big guy, with a soft spot for big watery eyes, and Mel, well she got me to replace her lost son Ryan. So I scratch at the sheets, and pretty soon I am sleeping between the covers.
I usually manage to get a couple more hours of sleep, but because its a holiday weekend, I make sure to get up extra early so my owners can't sleep in too long. Barry lets me out around 6:30. Let me tell you there is nothing worse than taking a shit in cold, wet grass that is longer than your legs. Oh well, I'm used to it. After taking a massive crap, massive at least for me (hey I barely weigh five pounds) I went in search of the evil Hedgehog!
In my many years on this planet I have learned that everything has an opposite. This opposite can come in many forms. There is yin and yang, Sith and Jedi, Democrats and Republicans, Trojans and Bruins, and for me, there is Hedgehog. Hedgehog is my mortal enemy. He is a master of playing dead. In fact he is so good at pretending to be dead, that he only moves when one of my owners throws him through the air. He only talks in squeaks when pressed. I am on to him, however. He may be able to fool that idiot Ryan, but I know better. I spent the better part of the morning chasing Hedgehog from one end of the living room to the other. Back and forth we went, and each time Hedgehog would find some way to be thrown again, and again, and again. It got to the point that despite my lethal bites, I grew weary of the chase. Hedgehog would be there tomorrow, and so will I!
I promise you this, I will learn the secret of Hedgehog's immortality, and how he is able to influence the pathetic humans. The world will not be safe until Hedgehog's proverbial "stuffing" lies strewn about the carpet. And when that day occurs, I will have my bowl filled with Scotch, and I will drink it, as if it is my enemy's blood!
I need a nap.
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posted by Ryan at 10:44 PM
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