"We the jury..."

NBC has a new reality legal drama appropriately named The Law Firm.

Check out the trailer here, and see if you can spot someone you know!

(hint: look for me.)

Hey Eugene

I am only posting this because you don't have comments enabled on your blog, and I am guessing your real email address isn't edumacated@berkley.edu. Sweet story on the leopard-tongue-ripping-out-man on your site. I may not know you, but your blog is getting a link. Rock on.

Leif Waller

Go see Leif Waller's site. He always beat me at chess, and he is going to Bangladesh, which pretty much makes him cooler than anybody I know.


Chess in the cold

"You might feel a slight stinging sensation"

I hate the eye doctor. Ok. I know I am alienating a descent segment of population with that statement, but it’s a fact. However, this morning, I put on my brave face and went to see Dr. Ramos at the Temecula Eye Center. While in the waiting room I read through a brochure on LASIK eye surgery. Before my exam, I spoke with Dr. Ramos about the possibility of the surgery and he scheduled a consultation for me that very same day. Next came his exam, complete with stinging eye drops, blinding lights of various colors and intensities, and humiliating realization of my blindness. Here is an example of such humiliation:

"Are you sure you can't read that very top line? The line with the one giant letter, that is kind of like an upside down 'E'?"

"You mean a 'W'?" I asked thoughtfully.

"Yeah the 'W'."

"No I can't."

So after another terrible eye doctor's appointment I went to my lasik consultation. Little did I know that I was about to walk into the eye exam from HELL!!! !

Due to the complexity of the surgery, the doctor has to know pretty much every detail of both of my eyes. To learn these, I was subjected to at least six different test which measured cornea dimension, lens dimension, pupil dilation, eye moisture level, myopia, et cetera. The eye moisture test was particularly bad. I had pieces of paper taped on the inside of my eyelid. Each strip of paper was designed to be super absorbent like a giant Kotex factory tampon. (LACY!) I then had to close my eyes for 5 minutes and keep them closed, while the strips sucked every last drop of sweet, sweet moisture from my eyes. Afterwards, they were as dry as an eighty year old vagina.

So after all was said and done, I learned that I was eligible for Lasik in my left eye and Lasek in the right. Lasik involves the cutting of the cornea and folding it back, while Lasek involves removing a couple of layers of cell from the surface of the eye, and then creating an artificial flap. Apparently, I have some thin corneas. If only I had a penny for every time a woman has told me I had thin cornea's...

Whether I go through with the surgery is another thing entirely. Time will tell.

You sunk my battleship!

I had planned on writing a large and un funny entry tonight, but my plans were interrupted when I read Dan McConnell's blog. If you go on over to his site, you will see an entry that contains several examples of practice puzzles for the US Puzzle Championship. I thought to myself "Well self, if big bro Dan can be the puzzle man, I might as well try my hand at becoming a puzzle fan." (And no I wasn't clever enough to rhyme a monosyllabic word without a online rhyming dictionary.)

Half an hour later, I had successfully completed my first puzzle, the battleship one for those of you who are keeping track.

Unfortunately, now I am in no mood to type anything t-o-o well thought out. So sorry.

However, Dan did link me, so please feel free to use the link to his blog conveniently located in the links section.

Good night.